Frustration and a gum shield!

So after another trip to the ENT hospital about my ears I am no clearer on how long this problem of mine is going to last! 

It was an early appointment but we dropped our daughter off at school and hurried there, this time they could do a hearing test- the drops had thankfully cleared my ears enough. So I sat there with the super sexy rubber headphones and got increasingly worried that I could not hear half as many beeps as I should! This means my hearing is even worse! Which I knew anyway! 

So we dutifully waited to see the specialist, it was one I had seen before so I was reassured that he would listen to me and my concerns and hopefully he would sympathise with my problem! Which he did - he understood exactly how frustrating and debilitating it has been having this leaky infection for over 2 months now. But there is not a lot he can do - he suctioned my left ear out (yuck) which helped increase hearing levels in that ear. Reassured me that contrary to what the Doctor said last time the T-Tube they fitted in my ear IS still there. He then examined the right ear - which is the one that gives me the most pain and worry. Apparently it is an healthy ear and the pain is coming from my jaw and not my ear. So now I am to spend 2 weeks on Ibuprofen to reduce any inflammation and buy a gum shield to wear at night, with the hope of it stopping me grinding my teeth. I also have to stop smoking!! (I know I need to stop smoking - its easier said than done!!!!!) I got given more drops to try and reduce the bit of infection residing in my left ear and another appointment for 3 weeks to see if these simple steps have helped with the pain! 

If the infection does not go then it could mean having the T Tube removed which brings me back to an inverted eardrum! 

I am just left frustrated and annoyed! I feel like the pain is definitely in my ear and not the jaw, but maybe I will be proved wrong?! 

I've been told the smoking will mean I never fully get rid of the infection - but the cynic in me believes that Doctors advise you to stop smoking as a matter of course no matter what the illness or problem! 

But I am going to follow advice and buy a gum shield, take regular anti-inflammatories and try to reduce the smoking. We will see in 3 weeks what the next step is! 

I am not bothered I need hearing aids - that I have learnt to live with! However I do not want to spend my whole life with gunk leaking out of my ears on a regular basis. 

3 Appointments 1 day (hospital and School!)

Tuesday the 12th was a busy day for me - finally I had an appointment with the specialist who operated on my ears. Since I had been having non-stop trouble with them I was looking forward to hopefully getting some answers and knowing why they have not stopped leaking. However it was not going to be that straight forward.

It had been several months since my hearing aids had been serviced and the tubes were becoming brittle so needed replacing, trying to save petrol I made the appointment at audiology for roughly the same time as my ENT appointment. Arriving on time we were seen by a lovely lady who changed my tubes and insisted on trying to talk to me whilst I wasn't wearing them, you would think that someone used to working with people hard of hearing she would wait until I could hear before speaking!! haha

Tubes changed I was pleased that had gone easily with no issues - it wasn't until I got home I realised that she had cut them the wrong lengths and it was rubbing me!! But hubby managed to sort that thankfully!!

Anyway as I was waiting to see the specialist I got sent for a hearing test, this is a must before any hearing appointment. But the guy doing the tests told me he couldn't do it until my ears had been suctioned because there was too much 'gunk' in them! (My words not his!!!) so back to the waiting room we went! Eventually we were called to see the specialist after been sat in total for about an hour. She attempted to suction my ears out - which is a very unpleasant experience and then informed me that the T-tube they fitted in the operation was not there anymore!! I am renowned for loosing things but this was implanted into my body so was not something I had expected to misplace. Then she informed me that because my ears were so 'wet' (her words) she couldn't do anything else until I had used a course of drops to dry them out!!

So all in all it felt like a complete waste of time and I was super frustrated that the operation was not a success and that they couldn't tell me anything there and then! It also took several hours for me to cope with the pain the suctioning had caused and the pain the ear drops give me when I put them in. But as i spoke to hubby about it I realised it was probably a good thing because now they have seen me when my ears are at their worst and have a vague idea of how I am coping daily! (Or not coping!) Now it is a case of waiting for the drops to hopefully dry my ears out and seeing where we go next. I am not prepared to be in pain with pressure and leaking ears forever so I will be making sure when we visit again in a couple of weeks that I make my feelings clear! The operation was painful and I didn't want it anyway but I believed it was for the best so I went ahead - now it seems like it was a waste of time and has caused me more problems! But we shall see......

My final appointment of the day was my little girls parents evening! And it was Proud mummy time - she is an excellent pupil and more importantly in my opinion a lovely and polite child who is always offering to help the others in her class who are not as fast / efficient at their work. The only  (minor) problem is the issue of her wanting to be everyone's friend when she does not always get on with them so then the teacher has to solve silly little girl arguments. But this is true for several girls in her class and something I have spoken to her teacher about a few times. We have reached the conclusion that this group of girls have a love hate relationship and is something that might not be fixed until they all mature that bit more - if ever cos some girls can be clique all the time. In general though her attitude and school work are fabtastic so I am more than pleased and made her well aware that she was doing brill!

Birthdays, Broken Laptops and Lost hearing aids!!

Well today is my 30th birthday. I was one of those people at 12 who thought that 30 was ancient - now i'm there myself I still feel like I am young. And I guess I am - but a lot of times I feel old and tired. 

I've got no huge plans to celebrate, I had a lie in this morning and woke to find cards and gifts off my children and hubby. My mum visited and had a coffee - and told me her dog having puppies so we could be getting a new doggy in a couple of months!!! The remainder of the day is going to be spent on the sofa entering competitions and watching mindless kids TV. Perfect!! My hubby cooking a Sunday dinner so that will be fabtastic too!!

The worst thing happened to me this week and my Dell laptop (2years old) bit the dust! We had just bought a new battery and the motherboard went. This is the 2nd laptop I have killed in the past 3 years - although the 1st one died from a large latte been poured over it. Been super super skint - a new one isnt an option so hubby is hell bent on repairing one of them in the cheapest way possible. Until then I am using my cheap and slow android tablet and his tiny web book. Which are more than adequate - but I am used to my laptop and do miss it. Im also one of the most impatient people ever and always want something yesterday. 

So until I do get my own machine working my posts will be sporadic. And will probably not include photos because I don't want to clog his memory with all my pics. 

I've also lost my left hearing aid - which is a nightmare! I've got a kidney infection and still got a bad ear infection so am on strong antibiotics and painkillers- this seems to have given me a forgetful brain - because my hearing aid has vanished!! Turned the whole house upside down and even been in the bin (with yellow marigolds on!) but still no joy!! Hopefully I can be fitted for some more soon because I don't know how I will cope with any future job interviews with lopsided hearing!!! I'm laughing about it - because it has just been one of those weeks! Hopefully next week less things will go wrong????

More about my deafness / hard of hearing ness!

I have had hearing problems now since I was about 8 years old. First it was typical glue ear which I had Gromits fitted for. But it has never improved  and when I was about 14 I was told I needed hearing aids at this stage in my life I struggled with them and ended up wearing them for about 10 mins.
From that point I coped - not very well but I have basic lip reading skills and alongside that I can hear sounds so I use a lot of guesswork using sounds and lip movements combined. But a couple of years ago I began to suffer chronic ear infections, which consist not just of pain /throbbing /popping eardrums but I get gunky discharge / pus leaking from my ears. After a couple of these horrible and gross ear infections my other half and the kids had noticed I was struggling more with day to day noises and communication. So it was back to my local ENT department.

Originally they said I needed hearing aids and gave no explanation as to why my ears kept hurting and producing this disgusting gunk. So I gave into the idea of been 28 years old and relying on hearing aids to communicate. I didn't give in that easy though, I didn't get the full benefit because I only wore them when I wanted / needed to. I should have been wearing them full stop. Several more infections later I was getting mad at not getting any explanation as to why I was gunky and sore, so I went back to the hospital again. It was decided I needed stronger hearing aids - which meant they were even more visible on the ear. The only good side (as I believed then) was the fact I could chose the colours! I decided to go for a silvery black aid and glittery moulds. (The photo doesn't show the proper glitteryness of them!)

Slowly over the past couple of years I have become more accustomed to wearing them and even make the odd joke about them - mainly how i can lower the volume when the kids get noisy or take them out when in an argument. And now I am at the stage where I panic when I have to cope without them, it is such a struggle and for this reason my batteries are my best friend. I have spare packs of batteries everywhere in case I hear the dreading warning beep in my ear.

I still haven't got much further with the ENT dept - I had a scan which did show some moderate disease in my left ear canal, so on the 26th November 2012 I underwent a minor op to have a T-tube put in. This is like a gromit but more permanent and bigger. I would like to say this has helped but since the operation I have had nothing but pain and gunk. So its back to the drawing board with docs and hospital appointments. Watch this space.....

Just to clarify -
I am not properly deaf - the correct term for me is Hard of Hearing (HOH). There are 6.6% of the population between the ages of 6-60 who have a hearing loss. (RNID website) So I am not alone in my predicament. And I would be really interested in meeting other people in my age group who suffer like me - especially those with families. I should really look for support groups in my area and online... (I can sense another post coming on this in the near future.)

My 1st blog - about me

The 1st post!! 

All about me; 

I am totally new to this blogging malarky - however after looking at other peoples blogs and how much support and fun they seem to have has encouraged me to start my own. 

I've called it muffled rants - mainly because my world is muffled. Let me explain - I need to wear hearing aids otherwise I can't hear words. I'm not 100% deaf and can lip read to a degree but telly is a no-go (unless its subtitled) and in general day to day life I can struggle - even with the aids in. 

I don't want to just write about my impediment though - there are lots of other things that make me stand out and make me.... well me!! 

I love tattoos and piercings and will try to add some photos of my collection as I extend my blog. I read a lot, I crochet, I adore entering competitions (which is why I came across so many amazing blogs!), I enjoy writing, learning about history. I cook and bake, I am a life long chocoholic and coffee-holic!

So that's what I like! 

But that's not all - I'm approaching my 30th year (27th January), I've been married for 8 years, I have 2 amazing children (11yr old boy & 8yr old girl) and a pretty fab stepson too (he is 17). Oh best not forget our dog too - we adore dogs in our house!

At the moment I am trying to look for work, obviously the job market isn't as big for me because I am limited. (Noisy environments and lots of telephone calls not an option!) But my hubby is off sick so is willing to take care of the household duties whilst I try to start my career - having had the kids young I put it all on hold. 

Thats enough for now I think - I do tend to ramble on when I write! However as I get the hang of this blogging I am sure I will fill people in more. I'm sure you are all very interested. ?!?! 

If there is anything you want to know - just leave a comment - any tips on doing this blog thing- leave a comment!! haha